


Reach Out (and touch)

by gay_babies_in_space



Category: Voltron - Fandom, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Denial, HEALING PODS TO THE RESCUE!!, Haphephobia, M/M, PINING KEITH, Pidge is the all-knowing all-seeing mastermind this universe NEEDS, Pining, haphephobic keith, keith is accidentally in gays with lance, lance gets hurt again because ofc, that's kind of a big part of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 17:03:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7692499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gay_babies_in_space/pseuds/gay_babies_in_space
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One thing his fellow Paladins learn about Keith rather quickly is that you do not touch Keith.</p>
<p>OR: Keith has haphephobia. He also accidentally catches the gays for Lance. Somehow the two are connected, and he really hates Pidge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reach Out (and touch)

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY KLANCEWEEK2K16 YOU LOSERS

One thing his fellow Paladins learn about Keith rather quickly is that _you do not touch Keith._

It’s well known that Keith has lived a life of relatively consistent solitude. Apart from the brief foray into society at the Garrison, he’s been pretty much alone for as long as he can remember, and while he’s mostly okay with that, it has left him with a few... quirks.

He never has to explicitly state to the team that touch makes him uncomfortable, and he suspects that Pidge played a large part in that.

They’re not exactly great with people themselves, so it makes sense, really, that they’d notice first.

Keith had caught the tail end of one of their – slightly terrifying, if he’s honest – contemplative looks after a stressful mission had left him particularly antsy, and his flinch away from Shiro’s customary pat on the back had resulted in an upturned glass of water.

Within a matter of hours, all attempts at touching Keith had disappeared. Their group meditation – usually conducted holding hands in a circle – was quickly changed, with not a word mentioned about it by anyone. Even Lance, with his wildly unpredictable gesticulation and flair for the dramatic managed to keep his hands, feet and all other bodily parts away from him.

So yeah, Keith doesn’t exactly _hate_ anyone on the team – apart from Lance, of course, who he hates unequivocally, obviously, _duh_ – but he can admit that he has a bit of a soft spot for Pidge.

* * *

Keith _hates_ Pidge. He hates them. Almost as much as he hates Lance, because yes he does hate Lance, shut up, _shut up_.

Keith now has a name for the feeling – _Haphephobia_ , according to Pidge – but this new knowledge is absolutely no help when, about three months into this whole Voltron/paladin/defenders of the universe thing, Lance’s self control begins to slide.

Honestly, the fact that Lance managed to go so long before touching Keith would be enough of a shock.

(Stupid, tactile Lance with his ridiculously pampered soft skin and his almost overbearing friendliness even to people he repeatedly refers to as his rival, stupid, _stupid,_ **_stupid_ ** Lance.)

The worst thing, though, the absolute _worst_ thing, is the smug look on Pidge’s face when they’re the one who points it all out to Keith. Keith is, _understandably_ , he thinks, confused.

“Uh... what

Pidge, however, does not care in the slightest that they have basically just turned everything Keith thought he knew on its head, because they spare him a brief look _oh my god you’re so fucking dumb_ before they turn back to whatever gizmo it is that’s lying dismantled on the floor.

“It’s just strange,” they say after a while, complete with a long-suffering sigh, “that everyone else’s touch makes you uncomfortable, while you never even seem to notice when Lance touches you.”

Keith, normally the quietest in the group, decides to embrace his inner Lance (and wow, okay, the thought of embracing Lance is... actually not... that... no, _no, stop it, that’s so **wrong**_ ) and releases an impressive babble of bullshit, stammering through a series of half-denials and panicked rebuttals as he backs out of Pidge’s room and into the hallway.

Pidge is wrong.

Pidge is _so wrong_.

Aren't they?

* * *

Pidge is never, ever, _ever_ wrong and Keith hates them for it.

He paces back and forth along the length of his room, watching the last few weeks play out like a bad movie in his mind’s eye.

Keith has always, _always_ , been completely aware of other people and their proximity to him; it’s kind of a necessity when avoiding contact needs to becomes second nature. He can walk through a crowded street or hallway and instinctively move out of the way of the swarming mass of bodies without a problem and yet, somehow, stupid, ~~pretty~~ – _stupid_ – Lance has been sneaking little touches here and there with increasing frequency for weeks, and Keith hasn’t noticed a bloody thing.

It’s so painfully, blindingly obvious now that it’s been pointed out to him, and that rubs him entirely the wrong way. If Pidge - who is naturally inclined more towards technology than people - can notice it, then Keith definitely should have.

He doesn’t know why his subconscious has suddenly decided that it’s _okay_ for Lance to touch him, but it leaves him feeling disconcertedly... vulnerable. To allow someone that much contact with him, and to not be bothered enough to even notice it, is unheard of. Even when he was friends with Shiro at the Garrison and Keith thought that Shiro was the best and only friend he’d ever need, Keith had never let his guard down so much, had always kept his defences up against people, against the natural human need to just touch.

And why did it have to be _Lance_ , of all the people in the entire fucking universe?

(He knows why it’s Lance, but he is resolutely _not thinking about it_.)

Lance has done nothing but annoy him since they rescued Shiro, and even the vague, fuzzy memories of Lance in his class at the Garrison are accompanied by a trickle of irritation about the loudmouth at the back of the room who just _would not stop_ glaring holes into the back of his head and the uneasy feeling of being watched wherever he goes and whatever he does.

Now, though, he knows Lance so much better than he did back then. Many of his assumptions at the time were quickly proved correct; Lance is obnoxiously loud and has a ridiculous beauty regime and can be almost pathetically self-absorbed a lot of the time. He’ll start fights and over-embellish stories and acts cocky and headstrong at the most inconvenient times, just to prove a point. It should all make Keith want to be as far away from the blue paladin as he can possibly get, and talk to him as little as is required to keep the team functioning as one unit, and yet...

And yet.

Keith has also learnt that Lance has a large family that he misses desperately, that there’s a constant thrum of homesickness in everything he feels, that his ridiculous beauty regime and over-exaggerated boasting and his constant flirting is compensation for what he sees as being inexcusable inadequacies. He knows that Lance needs their rivalry to push him to _try harder do more be_ _better_ , and that Lance will always try to limit how often he talks about his family out of respect for Pidge and Keith, and he knows that Lance loves space and loves flying and loves the team. He knows that Lance has a crooked tooth on the right side of his mouth, and that his smile always curves up to the left, and that he keeps a photo of Hunk, Pidge and himself in his jacket that was taken on the same day Lance told them he was bisexual and they’d listened to something called N*Sync on repeat all day.

He’s learnt that he really, _really_ likes Lance.

Shit.

* * *

Liking Lance is a big problem, a huge problem, a ‘the-end-is-nigh’ kind of problem. At first Keith is a little bit amused about his own overdramatic reaction, until it hits him like a tonne lf bricks in the solar plexus that shit, this could actually cause real problems, big problems, ‘the-end-is-nigh’ kind of problems.

Keith has started putting together a list of reasons why liking Lance is the worst _idea in the history if ideas, how did he ever get so stupid_ :

  1. Keith can never let Lance know because it would make everything awkward and fuck up the team dynamic and that can’t happen because they need to be able to form Voltron or the Gala will take over the entire universe and it would all be because of Keith’s stupid _feelings_

  2. He can NEVER tell Lance because Lance thinks they are rivals and hates his guts

  3. Lance also hates his hair

  4. Lance also hates his jacket

  5. Keith can just imagine the Disappointed Dad look on Shiro’s face if he messes up his and Lance’s friendship and fucks things up for everyone else

  6. He’s about 99% sure that Lance is crushing on Allura

  7. The day he sits down and has an actual conversation with Lance will be the day hell freezes over and they all have a snowball fight




 

He’s sure there are more reasons, and if he asks Pidge he’s positive they’ll be able to come up with at least ten more, but there is no way that he’ll admit to them that they were maybe, kind of, definitely right about the touching thing.

 

So Keith deals with this unfortunate situation in the most sensible and mature way he can think of.

 

He pretends it doesn’t exist.

* * *

In theory, his approach is simple, yet entirely genius.

 

In practice, however, it’s not quite so clean-cut.

 

Lance is a decidedly difficult person to ignore. He steps into a room and Keith is immediately hyperaware of him. He seems to fill the room in a way that should be oppressive and uncomfortable to someone so used to being alone, but instead it just feels strangely – and rather annoyingly – like the warm and comforting weight of a blanket being draped over his shoulders. It’s an ease he only ever used to feel when he was in the training room, punching out his anger and his fear and his _loneliness_. However, while the training deck encourages a hard, brittle outpour of emotion, Lance’s presence encourages the exact opposite. He can feel his muscles relax, his posture loosen, his heartbeat skyrocket. Lance encourages the softer side of Keith that he had tried so hard to destroy after his parents –

 

So yes, okay, maybe his plan to ignore it all isn’t exactly working out great, and maybe Keith actually wants to die a little bit every time Lance smiles at him or touches him or _breathes_ in his general vicinity, but it’ll be fine. It will all be totally, completely, utterly fine.

 

* * *

 

It is absolutely not fine, and Keith has never been more aware of how much he absolutely does not want to die than he is at this exact second as he watches a blast propel Blue backwards, spinning wildly as they get closer and closer to the Galra’s main ship.

 

Keith can vaguely recognise the noises of concern from the rest of the team, but all he can focus on is the sound of Lance’s pained cry as the impact threw him backwards before all communications with the blue lion broke off. There are maybe a dozen single-person Galra craft descending on Blue, and if Lance can’t fight for himself right now then both him and the lion will be lost forever.

 

“I’m going to get him”, he bites out through gritted teeth, taking off towards where Blue is now floating aimlessly in space. The roaring of the blood pounding in his ears covers any reply he might receive, but no one is actively trying to stop him, so he figures Shiro can’t be too violently opposed to the idea.

 

Keith’s heart drums a staccato beat in his chest and he can feel Red grow warmer and warmer as he channels all of his fear and anger into his lion, the connection between them thrumming with the need to _save Lance_.

 

He and Red make quick work of the nine Galra soldiers that were unwise enough to try and fight him around Blue, attacking in complete synchronisation as the need to get to Lance, to see him, to _touch him_ become more and more desperate. His fighting is crazy and reckless and he knows it, but it gets the job done and soon enough he’s lining Red up next to Blue and space hopping between the two lions. The Galra soldiers were brutal in hacking a hole into Blue’s flank, and Keith winces at the thought of the mental strain Lance must have felt through his connection with his lion as he felt the metal be ripped apart.

 

He shakes off the sympathy that threatens to overwhelm him, channelling it into the rage that fuels his route through Blue. He doesn’t even think as he takes down first one, then two of the soldiers, and feels a terrifying and overwhelming sense of vengeful glee as he drives his sword into the back of the soldier that had only seconds before been standing directly in front of an unconscious Lance, readying for the kill strike.

 

As Keith watches the soldier fall, first to it’s knees and then to it’s face, he feels _wild_ and unpredictable, like a feral dog. He’s dangerous at the best of times, but right now he feels like he could take down the entire Galra Empire through sheer force of will alone. It’s terrifying, and continues to hum through his body until he looks down at Lance, and all the fight goes out of him. Lance looks fragile and broken on the floor, one leg twisted at a nauseating angle and his head tilting to the side in a state of unconscious vulnerability. His tan skin is muddied with a myriad of bruises covering the side of his face that made impact with the walls of the control room and Keith wants nothing more than to reach out and stroke a finger down the marred skin along Lance’s cheekbone.

 

The battle isn’t over yet, though, so Keith swallows down his urges and focuses on getting Lance away from the fighting.

There are no obvious broken bones aside from the leg, and while Keith is reluctant to move Lance with a possible head injury he doesn’t really have much of a choice, so he hoists him into a fireman’s hold, gripping tightly onto Lance’s thighs with one hand and sword with the other.

 

As he navigates through Blue and assesses the risk of space hopping between the lions while carrying an unconscious Lance, Keith realises that the others are trying to contact him, shouting through the comms on their helmets. Hunk is openly crying again – a trait Keith has always admired in the bloke – whilst Pidge rattles off question after question in panic. Allura and Coran are silent as they work on destroying the fleet of Galra soldiers that had launched a surprise attack on the castle, and it is Shiro’s calm and controlled directions that finally cut into the haze that clouds Keith’s mind. Orders are simple to understand, just basic instructions, and Keith’s always had an issue with doing as he’s told but Shiro is guiding Keith through the process of getting Lance into Red. The fighting has died down considerably while Keith had been busy, but now it’s localised around Blue as the paladins fight to protect their own and the Galra try to single out the weakest link in the team.

 

Keith gets Lance into Red with little difficulty, and props Lance up against the wall as gently as he can. He feels the need to hover over him, to run his palm across Lance’s jaw and press his fingers against the pulse that he _knows_ is there.

 

 

He holds back though and settles into his chair instead, swinging Red around to join the fight still raging around them. He’s constantly aware of how quiet Lance is, how one wrong move could send him flying again and risk an even worse head injury. He’s as gentle as possible, but he doesn’t hesitate to fall into formation with the others. He sends a quick word of reassurance to the others as they each cover one compass point surrounding the blue lion.

 

With Lance and Blue out of action they can’t form Voltron, but they’re all pissed about Lance getting hurt at the hands of the Galra _again_ and they don’t need Voltron to make a formidable team, so they easily annihilate the remaining Galra troops.

 

Allura and Coran pipe up towards the end of the battle with the news that the ship is protected again, and that they’ll have a healing pod prepped for Lance as soon as they return. The realisation that Lance is going to be okay is dizzying for a second, and it’s only thanks to some quick manoeuvring by Hunk that Keith doesn’t take a direct hit. Luckily, though, no one mentions it, and once the fighting finally dissipates into nothing, they travel to the castle ship in silence, Shiro pulling Blue along with him.

 

* * *

 

It’s Shiro who finds Keith first. Shiro has always had a way with words, always known the right thing to say at the right time to get the right reaction, but he stays silent as he sits next to Keith in the observation deck. This is the first time Keith has been way from the medical base in three days, only the hunger clawing at his stomach and the encroaching restlessness being enough to drag him away from the low steps in front of Lance’s healing pod.

 

Shiro shows no signs of initiating a conversation, and Keith knows enough about social expectations to know that he needs to talk first. He thinks about all the things he wants to say and sighs. He wants to tell Shiro about the loneliness out in that little shack in the desert, about how Lance somehow broke past those shields he had so carefully put up, and about how close he and Lance had grown over the past few months, but the words don't come. 

 

Instead, he croaks out a hoarse “I think I love him”, and Shiro seems to understand all that other stuff anyway.

 

The nod of understanding lifts a weight off Keith’s shoulders that he hadn’t realised was there. To know that Shiro had his back in this, the same way he always had, filled Keith with a renewed appreciation for his old friend. They sat together in comfortable silence in the observation deck for a while longer, Shiro staring out at the stars and Keith staring down at his hands, until Shiro let out a gusty sigh and heaved himself upright. He looked at Keith like he wanted to pull him into a hug, but instead he just gave a small smile, said “you should tell him” and left.

 

* * *

 

He had never really connected very well with Princess Allura. She was perfectly lovely, and had a fierceness about her that Keith could appreciate, but they had never really talked much outside of a group setting. Unsurprisingly, then, Keith felt a bit awkward when Allura had gone to collect him from the observation deck with the news that Lance should be waking up soon. The excited thrill that shuddered through him at the thought of seeing Lance awake again urged him to take off towards the medical base at a run, but obligation held him back and he walked silently next to Allura.

 

As they approached the tall double doors of the medical base, Allura came to a stop and looked Keith solemnly in the eye. His thoughts were running at light speed and his fingers shook with the need to touch, but he forced himself to focus on the princess’ words.

 

He’s half bracing himself for a long speech about thinking rationally in the heat of battle, but what he gets instead is a soft “you should tell him how you feel, Keith.” She clearly sees the resigned panic on his face, because she smiles that serene smile that makes her look older and wiser than the universe itself, and says “Lance loves you too. Even if it’s not in the same way, you two are friends now, yes? He deserves to know.”

 

She glides away, Keith jogging to catch up with her as the med base doors hiss open. The rest of the team is already there, and his breath hitches at the thought that Lance is going to wake up and he, Keith, _emotionally stunted Keith_ , is going to have a Discussion about Feelings and Stuff.

 

He’s not looking forward to it.

 

Hunk has brought food and drinks for everyone, and Pidge is hugging a blanket close to their chest. They smile at Keith, and it’s surprisingly soft. They’ve all been worried about Lance, but they respect the open secret of Keith’s feelings and move aside to let him wait impatiently in front of the healing pod.

 

The blue of the glass is all wrong.

 

Lance’s blue is deeper, a darker and warmer colour than the cold hue that separates them now, and that is what Keith focuses on, rather than the unnatural stillness of Lance’s face, as Coran fiddles with the controls.

 

As the barrier between them disappears and Lance sways forward into his waiting arms, Keith spares a brief thought to how far he’s come since all of this started. Only months ago the thought of having someone leaning on him so heavily and with so much contact would have sent tingles across his skin and tension down his spine. He’s certain that’s still the case with most people, though to a lesser extent with regards to his teammates.

 

It’s just _Lance_.

 

Keith’s hand settle on Lance’s waist, holding him steady as he slowly gathers his wits about him. Pidge rushes forward to wrap the blanket around Lance’s shaking shoulders, and Hunk sets the food and drink next to them as Keith lowers Lance slowly to the floor.

 

It takes a few minutes for Lance to become completely aware of what’s happening, but once he gains his composure he immediately fires off a round of questions, talking with his mouth full as he spoons goo into his mouth as fast as possible. Keith sits to Lance’s right, shoulder to shoulder, while everyone else sat on the floor around them. He stays silent through the constant flow of words and laughter. The castle has been too quiet over the last few days, and Keith finds comfort in the sudden and welcome noise, relaxing for the first time since Lance was injured. It’s nice like this, with everyone happy and relieved and laughing like children. It feels almost like a playdate, and even the playful banter never fails to make them all smile, Keith included.

 

He lasts almost an hour before the pressure from the points of contact between he and Lance becomes overbearing. He can feel the panic crawling along his neck and he makes a tactical retreat, muttering something vague about needing a toilet break and pointedly ignoring the lewd joke thrown his way by Lance. By the time he gets back most of the others have dispersed to do their own thing. Only Pidge and Lance remain, heads bent close as they whisper furiously at each other. Pidge quickly cuts of what they were saying once they realise that Keith has rejoined them. They glare pointedly at Lance for half a second before stomping out of the room, pausing only to give Keith the same look.

 

Keith’s shoes have suddenly become fascinating, and he stares at them with single determination as the silence grows awkward and oppressive. It’s nearing the point of being suffocating when Lance whispers a barely-there “hey” and Keith almost jumps right out of his skin. At Lance’s encouraging pat, he takes his previous seat next to Lance, leaving a few centimetres space between them.

 

Lance has his legs drawn up to his chest, his head resting on his knees, eyes fixed on Keith. In the silence of the room, with just the two of them there, it feels incredibly intimate. Keith mirrors Lance’s position, but avoids looking directly at Lance. He knows that everything he’s feeling shows on his face. He can be embarrassingly easy to read at the best of times, but Lance knows him so much better than anyone else does, and will realise everything straight away. Panic constricts his throat at the thought of Lance finding out, because _he can’t let him know, he can’t, he can’t_. He hangs his head between his knees and tries to take steadying breathes as he waits for Lance to speak.

 

“Pidge says you’ve been brooding outside my pod for days,” Lance says, still whispering, and Keith almost swallows his tongue.

 

Keith really, _really_ hates Pidge.

 

“Uh... yeah, well.” He tries to surreptitiously clear his throat, which fails miserably, so he aims for levity instead, hoping to dispel the tension he can feel growing between them. “Someone had to keep an eye on your dumb ass.”

 

Lance isn’t playing ball though, and is the serious one for probably the first time ever.

 

“Keith, what’s wrong?”

 

This is all Pidge’s fault. Keith is going to kill the little gremlin.

 

He keeps his stupid mouth shut and clenches his hands into fists on his knees.

 

He stares at the white skin that’s stretched over his knuckles, praying to gods that he’s long-since given up hope on that Lance just drops the conversation and leaves Keith alone with his thoughts _(it’s not ‘brooding’, okay, it’s **not**.) _  


 

He’s trying to think of an excuse to hightail it out of there when Lance places a hand over Keith’s fist and his brain switches off completely. He’s slow, giving Keith time to move away from the touch, but he just watches, transfixed, as Lance moves his thumb along the tense knuckles and his hand relaxes under the touch. They’re _so close_ to holding hands that it almost hurts. Keith wants more than anything to turn his palm over and lace his fingers with Lance’s. It’s not a particularly new thought, given how long he’s been pining after the boy next to him, but he is surprised at the intensity of it.

 

He’s close to giving into the urge when Lance beats him to it (because _everything_ is a competition between these two) and moves Keith’s hand into position until they’re sitting in the control room holding hands.

 

Okay, so Keith is maybe surprised by several things right now. One, _he’s holding hands with Lance_ ; two, Lance is being surprisingly gentle; and three, he knows with absolute certainty what this means for him. For Lance. For _them_.

 

He looks directly at Lance for the first time since he got back. He’s too pale and the bags under his eyes look like smudges of charcoal, but there’s no other visible damage or distress. In fact, Lance looks far, far from distressed. There’s an uncertain smile playing softly on his lips and a heavy blush spreading across his cheeks and returning the colour to his skin. He looks happy in a way that contrasts sharply to his normal energetic hyperactivity.

 

It takes a while for Keith to realise that it’s _him_ who has turned Lance all soft and gooey, and it hits him all over again that _Lance likes Keith and Keith is maybe a little bit in love with this massive fucking dork._  


 

  
_Shit_.

 

There will be plenty of complications, of course, because – well, because it’s _them_.

 

  
_That’s okay, though_ , Keith thinks as Lance swings his free hand around Keith’s neck to drag him down into a kiss. _After all, as defenders of the universe, they could always use a bit more excitement around here to keep everyone on their toes._  


* * *

Pidge winks at them when they turn up to dinner hand in hand and with the length of their sides pressed up tight against each other, and the Lance's blush spreads along his face and neck in seconds.

 

Keith can admit that he has a bit of a soft spot for Pidge.

**Author's Note:**

> I am projecting my weak haphephobic arse onto our smol son, so this is based largely on my experiences with haphephobia, but not everyone exoeriences it the same way, so please keep that in mind. KEITH AND PIDGE BEING BROS GIVES ME LIFE FIGHT ME. This was done in an entirely sleep-deprived haze so forgive me, because I'm not particularly happy with it but I am t i r e d so fuck it.
> 
> Come talk to me on tumblr { ourcaptainhomo } or twitter { @jacklaurentitty } because I'm putting Voltron aesthetics up at some point and I thrive on validation


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